Someone recently got very upset with me because of two things. One of them was because I had RSVP'd to two parties but did not attend - both were quite a while ago. This is rude, no doubt. For one of them, I dropped off a card but did not say I wasn't going and they did not know. For the other one, I simply did not show up. Again, rude and inconsiderate given that there can be a lot of planning involved with parties and I was expected to attend. I make no excuses for my behavior - that is not the point of this post.
The point is...
It occured to me how insanely tired I am all the time - the only reason I don't show up to things. Things have gotten better, but only recently. I have learned to not RSVP for anything. Actually, I just always RSVP maybe. I'd love nothing more than to know that someone else can get up with munchkin the next morning. Or that everything won't be on my shoulders every day - can I put some money in that college fund, will I get my work done in time, is everything taken care of at home? Or that it's not going to be a rough night with her (toddler bed is not working out like I hoped). Or that because I have to work all day five days a week, one hour away, I won't have to go to the grocery store the next day, then to Target, then to Babies R Us (don't worry, I condense trips if I can) on the weekend, then to get my car worked on (I drive 100 miles a day to work - I get a lot of work done on my car and recently have had 2 flat tires), then to a Dr's appointment (way too many recently to mention - yea for potential diabetes), then to the Dentist (oh those cavities have gotten out of control - 5 filings - I swear I brush my teeth all the time and floss), and I've been more sick in the last 2 years than I have in the past 15, etc (insert weekly speech therapy here), etc (insert MBA classes here), etc (insert specialized work course here). Did I mention walking the dog and cleaning the house?
Amongst this, my top priority is to have fun with my daughter. All these things can wait because the zoo is much more fun and worth waking up early for. And so is going to the beach with Auntie Liz. And spending any time possible with Auntie O is essential and the best time ever!
I'll catch up on my sleep later and one day I won't be so tired. In the meantime, I'm just going to have to be tired and make the best of it. To everyone that understands this about me and accepts it, thank you! You're a wonderful friend and I'm sorry in advance for canceling those plans. I promise I'm working on it and I don't find it acceptable.
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