A Card...

I received a Christmas card today from Katarina's father's sister-in-law.  So basically, Katarina's Aunt, but I don't really view her that way.

This is what it said...

"I'm so sorry that things worked out so difficult for you.  You deserve a good partner and Katarina, a better Dad.  Adriana (another Aunt) said you found it too difficult to keep seeing us.  I understand.  I hope your family will continue to be by your side, always.  Your beautiful daughter Katarina deserves to be surrounded by love.  You're a good mom.  Love, (Uncle)"

Now let me tell you a little history.  I used to go see certain members of Katarina's father's side of the family A LOT (he's one of ten)!  As in, stop by their house many days a week, hang out, eat dinner, etc.  They treated me very well and were incredibly kind!

Once Katarina was born, I didn't see them much.  In fact, I believe they've seen her about five or six times total.  I realized how much I was making the effort to be "in the family" and it was a hard reality to accept.  Remember, my closest family is in Philadelphia and she works a full time job.  There isn't any family here for me to just call when I need a babysitter or a night off.  That's what I thought they would be for me - if not my family, Katarina's family.  I haven't truly heard from Katarina's father since January.  I haven't heard from his family since March, and before that it was very sparse, except for on these occasions:

- Beginning of May - I got contacted through facebook by Adriana and I responded even though I was a little sour with how long it had been since I heard from them and the lack of help they had provided.  We made plans and they cancelled them 5 minutes beforehand so they could go out on their motorcycles.
- End of September - I got a facebook message from Barbara checking in and saying hi.
- Beginning of November - I got a facebook message from Adriana saying hi.

That's it.  And if I put myself in their shoes, I'm not sure what I would do either.  I'm not sure if I would understand and I'm not sure they do.  Every time they contacted me I thought long and hard about responding.  I always asked one question - what's the worst that could happen?  And the answer to that question - A LOT! 
It could open the door for communication to her father.  I don't want to open that door and I don't want him to know anything about us.  In January, it will be a year since he spent time with her and acknowledged her existence. 
And I have no idea how I would explain to Katarina that these people are her family from her father's side, but she doesn't know her father. 
And I don't want to know anything about her father.  It's human nature for them to say something about him and I want to know absolutely nothing.
And I'm still a little hurt by them not being there for her, for us.  I know it must be difficult, but we were really close because I encouraged the friendship so much.  When I stopped encouraging it, the relationship ended.

So now what do I do?  I feel like they need to understand this and that they deserve a response.  Before whenever I talked to people about this, they agreed, or encouraged, me not to respond.  But now, maybe I should just explain a few things... I'd appreciate any feedback or advice you have.  And if you need a few gaps in the situation filled, just ask!