I've realized how much I don't know how to date. Sounds ridiculous, right?
Here's the deal, I never have a boyfriend. Ok, I rarely have a boyfriend. I dated one guy in high school, two in college, and one since college. I'm horrible at "the game" and get ridiculously overly emotional very quickly. I think it's my insecurities and my tendency to have expectations that are not outrageous, but high, and there just the same.
I mean, if I want to talk to someone, then why shouldn't I? What's with the game of "waiting until he calls" or "keeping distance" or "acting like you don't care." Sorry, but if I do care, I'm going to act like it. It's just how I roll. And I figure, if he's the right guy, he'll understand.
So, let's take the fact that I don't know how to "play the game," don't like "playing the game," and am generally lost about the idea of dating. Now let's consider munchkin as well. As if dating wasn't complicated enough, now you have to consider when it is appropriate to introduce the munchkin to someone. I guess I will know when it's time, but then I remember that unless someone plans on babysitting a lot for me in the beginning of a relationship for free, it might be sooner than everyone's ready. And she'll be first in my life. And whoever I see will have to understand that there is no set schedule. And things will always come up. And that my life is pure chaos. At all times. And that one of the most important things is consistency. And complete total and utter honesty and open communication. Those things are not always easy. Especially for me.
These are just my random thoughts for the day... My amazing hairdresser got me thinking about it since her sister just got married and has a little one. Her experience is much like my own and it's hard to think about how to introduce Katarina to someone new. Well, and to introduce myself to someone new!
Here's the deal, I never have a boyfriend. Ok, I rarely have a boyfriend. I dated one guy in high school, two in college, and one since college. I'm horrible at "the game" and get ridiculously overly emotional very quickly. I think it's my insecurities and my tendency to have expectations that are not outrageous, but high, and there just the same.
I mean, if I want to talk to someone, then why shouldn't I? What's with the game of "waiting until he calls" or "keeping distance" or "acting like you don't care." Sorry, but if I do care, I'm going to act like it. It's just how I roll. And I figure, if he's the right guy, he'll understand.
So, let's take the fact that I don't know how to "play the game," don't like "playing the game," and am generally lost about the idea of dating. Now let's consider munchkin as well. As if dating wasn't complicated enough, now you have to consider when it is appropriate to introduce the munchkin to someone. I guess I will know when it's time, but then I remember that unless someone plans on babysitting a lot for me in the beginning of a relationship for free, it might be sooner than everyone's ready. And she'll be first in my life. And whoever I see will have to understand that there is no set schedule. And things will always come up. And that my life is pure chaos. At all times. And that one of the most important things is consistency. And complete total and utter honesty and open communication. Those things are not always easy. Especially for me.
These are just my random thoughts for the day... My amazing hairdresser got me thinking about it since her sister just got married and has a little one. Her experience is much like my own and it's hard to think about how to introduce Katarina to someone new. Well, and to introduce myself to someone new!
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